Here I Am

From almost daily posts a year ago to nothing for the last 4 months. Geesh. I'm a slacker. So I'm not even sure if anyone will read this now but here it goes.

I had quite the busy school year. Going back to the classroom really kicked me in the tail. It was hard yet quite rewarding. I had a great group of kids that really challenged me to challenge them. I'm not just saying that because I know some of them found my blog and read this. So between being a classroom teacher again and trying to get the photography business off the ground, blogging suffered. As I told a friend of mine, my creative output is through photography so I didn't really miss writing that much. I have missed reading the blogs of my blogging friends though. Facebook has been good for keeping in touch with some though.

Seeing as how this blog is called Thoughts of a Father, I'd like to write in that direction. We just passed the 2 year mark since we got Lily. TWO YEARS! I can hardly believe it. I look back at those pictures and marvel. It has flown by and yet it seems she's always been with us. She amazes Julianne and I constantly. We just sit there and listen to her talk and talk. And talk. And talk. It's our own fault. We talk to her too much and we don't use baby talk. She has incredible vocabulary. And when she runs out of words she knows, she makes them up as she goes. She made up one at lunch yesterday. Well, she thought she was making it up. We were having lunch with my mom and out came the F bomb in the midst of a sentence. We all kind of stared at each other and said, "WHAT" to her. So of course she repeated it in a sentence that made no sense at all. I looked at my mom and said, "We leave her alone with you for a few hours and we come back and my daughter is talking like a truck driver! What did you do to her?" Yes, our Lily keeps us in stitches.

And what would my blog be without pictures. Here are a few I took just a few days past. We had fun.

If anyone is still here reading, thanks for coming back. :)

Saying Goodbye

I got an email from a friend of mine earlier this week that a childhood friend of ours, Stuart, had died a few days prior. In the email was a copy of the very brief obituary. But the part I kept reading over and over, was that Stuart was dead at age 42. We were friends since elementary school. We got to be very good friends in jr. high and high school. He had a charisma about him that drew people to him. After high school we took very different paths and we eventually lost regular contact. He had a very tough time in his late teens and early 20's. After some serious setbacks in his life, he seemed to really turn things around for the better. We last talked about 8 years ago. He was the proudest of fathers. I was very happy for him. We soon lost contact again. Although it is still speculative, it seems he may have continued struggling with some of his previous demons. I recently talked to an old friend about him and regret not asking for his contact information. He's someone I figured I'd always catch up with from time to time. I'm sad at his loss and will miss my old friend.

Stuart (on the left) with Mike and Darrel on the day of our 6th grade culmination. June 1978

A friend forwarded me a more recent picture of Stuart from his myspace page.

Mean People Suck

This morning at 3:30 a.m. we were awakened by a phone call. Never a good sign. My mother's alarm company was calling to inform me that her home alarm had been triggered at zone one, the front door. Knowing she was still out of town on a weekend getaway with her friends, we were not worried for her safety. The police were dispatched and I reached my mother via cell phone. At just after 6:00 a.m. I received a follow up call from the police department. Her home had in fact been broken into and the front door would no longer secure the residence. So I needed to go there until my mother could get home. The sound of the alarm and the phone call from the alarm company on my mother's answering machine seemed to do the trick getting the thieves out of her home quickly. They did run off with all of my mother's jewelery it seems. It's only stuff. She's ok. Her door is now secure. But mean people sure do suck.

Ouch

I'm home. The surgery is over and was apparently a success. I thought it was supposed to end the pain! I'm fine as long as I don't move or breathe. Otherwise, ouch. And I'm afraid my pain meds are still working. Julianne and Lily have been so wonderful and such a blessing. Thanks to all of you that have sent your well wishes and prayers through comments, email, and even a phone call. It all means so much.


Sorry. No pictures. :(

When all else fails...

I was drawing a blank on what to post. I was scanning through shots I've made the past few days and had this gem. I guess I can never really go wrong posting shots of Lily. After all, this is a blog about my thoughts as a father. I've added quite a bit more. Some have suggested having separate blogs; one for photography and one for fatherhood and so on. But for me it's all part of who I am. So, at least for the time being I prefer to keep it all together in one place. Soon (hopefully) I'll have a pro-site up for my photography. But that will be more of a portfolio and price list kind of thing. Anyhow, here's a shot I got of Lily in the backyard a couple of days ago. She is just precious.

Surgery is set for tomorrow. Originally it was supposed to be 9:00 a.m. But it seems I get to enjoy my gall bladder for an extra 3 hours as surgery was rescheduled for tomorrow at noon. I asked Julianne if surgery was like going to the auto mechanic. "Do they let you keep the old parts?" I asked. "Why would you want to?" was her response. "For blogging! But I don't think they'd let me have it." was my obvious reply. "There's a reason" was her conclusion. Be glad I have a voice of sanity behind me. :)

Finally, if you photograph children, you've got to try this fun idea (attaching a pez dispenser to your hot shoe attachment). A friend emailed me this a long time ago and I just put it to use. Actually I just set it up. I'll give it a go as soon as Lily gets up from her nap. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Update: I just had to add this picture. Lily loved it and kept reaching out and saying, "Pooh, Pooh." But I think it's cause she knew candy was inside.

I should have stored up some pics for blogging this week. I'm not sure how up to posting, much less shooting, I'll be. We shall see.

Look Who Showed Up For Dinner

While playing in the backyard with Lily late this afternoon, we were greeted by this hungry lil fellow. He chased away any competition for his dinner before settling in. He even hung around long enough for me to get a great profile portrait.

Julianne has been away since Wednesday and won't be home til late tomorrow evening. She is at the Stampin' Up Convention in Salt Lake City. Fortunately my mother helped out and watched Lily while I was at work. She stayed later on Wednesday and Thursday as I had some unscheduled and unexpected doctor visits. As it turns out, I've got gall stones. So this means I go in for surgery next Tuesday. Since today was the last day of summer school, the timing couldn't be more perfect. I've never had surgery before so I'm just a little bit anxious. They make it sound like not too big of a deal though. I'm hoping for a quick recovery so I can enjoy my remaining month off of work and our upcoming vacation to Oregon.

A Day in the Park

While shooting the unexpected photoshoot yesterday, I of course got in lots of Lily shots. I don't think I'll ever get tired of taking her picture. Take a look why I can say that.

Blessings Abound

I repeatedly talk about how blessed I am. And of course it's true. Tonight there are no pictures. And no audio. You'll thank me when you finish reading. Sharing this may be a form of blogger suicide or fall under countless uncouth categories. I'll take that chance.

Lily is almost 2 years old. That means she repeats everything. She's a chatter box. Talking all the time now. Words, two word combinations, and non words alike. She is a sponge. It's a fun time. Of the many words she knows she is more than eager to bless us after a sneeze. "BESSY" (her version of "bless you") she yells with a smile and the knowledge of knowing she saying something nice. And it's not restricted to just humans. When our dog, Shayna sneezes, she too is promptly blessed.

Well apparently sneezes are not the only things Lily deems worthy of blessing. Last week, when cleaning up the kitchen while Julianne was getting Lily ready for bed, one of life's naturally occurring bodily functions came upon me. As no one was around and errantly thinking our home was much larger than it is, I surrendered to its call and let it pass. Seconds later, running down the hall toward me with an ear to ear grin, Lily looked up at me and proudly pronounced, "BESSY. BESSY."

Oh, and as long as I'm publicly humiliating myself, I recently found out burps also get the same blessings. Indeed, blessings of ALL kinds abound here in our home.

Looking Ahead

Tomorrow is my last day of work. It closes the chapter of my four years out of the classroom as a math coach. We had our end of the year coach meeting and luncheon today. It was a day of goodbyes, best wishes, thank yous, and encouragements. So as I close this chapter, I look down the next path. Or set of paths. I'm definitely looking forward to working in a classroom again. It will be a welcomed challenge. I've already loaded myself up with text books and state standards to begin prepping for the school year. Plus, I'll be teaching summer school to 4th and 5th graders which get me back in teaching mode. I'm nervous, excited, and anxious all at the same time

But I'm also looking at what other things are down this path. I'm seriously looking into doing more with my photography. Professionally. Also, Lily will be turning 2 in August. What will life at home be like now that she is growing up so fast? All this reflecting is getting me to look at my priorities a lot more. There is nothing like having a child to show me how selfish I am. I'm involved in too many things. My hobbies are too time consuming so I need balance. And if I'm thinking of making my hobby become more, I have to figure out a way to do this or I'll have to let it go. I definitely need to pray about this. And I invite you to join me in this prayer.

Having said that, tomorrow night is the wedding in which I'll be assisting. I've packed all my gear. Checked it multiple times. I think I'm ready. Ready as I'm going to be. So if you're already praying for my previously mentioned area of need, would you be so kind as to pray for my friend and me as we shoot this wedding? Thank you so much.

My First Father's Day!

Last year on this day we knew who Lily was but she was not officially ours-legally speaking. We had only seen her picture. We did not get her in our arms until July 9 last year. So, this is my first Father's Day with my beautiful baby girl.

We decided to celebrate by going to pick blueberries together. Unfortunately, Julianne's mother was under the weather the past few days and couldn't join us. So it was the three of us along with my mother (aka Nai Nai) and my sister (aka Auntie). After a short drive to Somis, we spent the late morning/early afternoon hours walking the fields and enjoying our day together. I had my family with me and my camera in hand. What could be better?

Following our day in the sun we went out for a nice lunch and lounged at home for the remainder of the day. Lily even gave me a gift that her mommy helped her make. It was a most delightful first Father's Day. I am a blessed husband and father.

Here is the gift Lily and Mommy made for me. When Lily says, "I love you" it comes out sounding like "Ah Bee Dah." Is she the cutest thing ever or what?

My Big News

No, I didn't find a job yet. The search continues but I'm not terribly worried. Not yet.

So what is it then? My big news is that in just over a week, I'll be shooting my first wedding! I'm so excited about this. Sooooo excited! Whenever I think of being really excited about something, the Snoopy Dance image always comes to mind. Although I don't ham it up on the outside like Snoopy does, inside, that's exactly how I feel.

It's actually my friend's job. Upon hearing that he'd be shooting this (his first also?) wedding, I kindly offered my services, free of charge to assist him. He gladly accepted. He gave me a list of duties and responsibilities to cover, but then the rest is entirely up to me. I can be as creative as I choose to be.

Maybe I should be more nervous. On the surface I think, "What am I doing? I have no idea what to do." But I know once I get there, camera in hand, I'll just start shooting and all that somehow got into me will surface and take over. I'm not a technical shooter. I don't know textbook composition. I just know what looks good to me. And from all the encouragement I get from those of you that stop by here and leave me comments, it seems many of you agree.

It's funny. I'm the same kind of writer. Outside of elementary school writing, I don't know what I'm doing. But all through my undergrad and then graduate studies, I always have done quite well with what I have written. The big difference is writing is a painful process for me. I struggle through the process and always look forward to the completed document. But with photography it's the opposite. I think I love the process more than the final product.

I've already recruited the help of a blog friend. I've had the opportunity to pick the brain of an experienced professional! And I'm preparing more questions for my blogger friend as we speak.

With the uncertainty of my job, and my continued and growing passion for photography, I can't help but wonder where I'll go with this. Do I want to keep it solely as a hobby? Or do I want to pursue this as a business? One book I've perused regarding the business end of photography states that the business of photography is about 80-90 percent of the work. Shooting is only a small part of the business. That's a very realistic - feet on the ground - head out of the clouds statement. But you know what? It didn't scare me away. Should I decide to go this route, I have the benefit of having a great, secure job for now. (Even though I've lost my position) I have security. I have benefits. I have the luxury of being able to slowly move into this should I so choose. I think shooting this wedding will help answer some of my questions about where I want this whole thing to go. And whatever the direction this takes me, I'm loving the process.

You're Fired!

You're Fired! Only it wasn't Donald Trump that issued the words. In fact, I wasn't fired. But I did lose my position. All is well. Let me explain. I was told several months ago that if our state's current budget crisis meant there would be cuts to the educational program in which I've been involved for the past four years, I would be among the first to lose my position. As of last week, that possibility became reality. As some of you have known, I have toyed with the idea of returning to the classroom for some time now. Well, I no longer have to decide. The decision has been made for me. So, I am actively looking for a teaching position. If I do not secure one on my own, I still have a job. I would be placed in a school by the district. I would not have choice of school or grade level should that be the case. But I still have a job. So in the meantime, I'm trying to find a school of my choice and my grade level of preference- 3rd, 4th, or 5th, in that order. A year of K, 1st or 2nd just scares me! But God is in control. So I'm not worried. It's comforting to know that He is in control and that I still have a job. I'm actually quite excited about having a class of my own again. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do with a single group of students throughout the course of a school year. I'm curious to see how I can move a class now that I've had all this extra experience and training. I have high hopes.

Image taken from this site.

The Cross at Grant Park

Julianne found a photo contest that she is encouraging me to enter. I've never entered a contest before. The rules state that the "Photos must be 'recognizably Ventura' and taken in our city." The one and only place I wanted to shoot was The Cross at Grant Park. It screams "Ventura" to me. It is a site of significant importance for us. First and foremost, this is where we were married back in 1997. Rather than marrying in a church, we brought the church outside. And sadly, it is the location where we said goodbye to my father in law. Prior to meeting Julianne, it is where she said goodbye to her brother and grandfather as well.

It was quite the cloudy, gloomy day. Some patchy clouds would have been preferred but that didn't stop me. I wanted to capture the cross in a non traditional way. Hopefully I have done that. Depending on the categories, I will enter 1 to five of the following images. We'll see what happens.

Z is for Zirconium

You'd think for what this class ring cost, it'd come with a genuine diamond. But I couldn't justify the price increase. Even if it was a gift to me. But the cubic zirconium has been fine. I just wanted something to signify my completion of a very long difficult road. I had never had any plan or desire to go to college. Upon completion of high school, I was posed with two options: go to school or get a job. I had a choice? Really? Well up to this point, I hated school. I know, not something you'd expect a teacher to admit. But I did. My answer was a no-brainer. I was getting a job. I worked for about 2 years at a high end entertainment law firm. We had top name clients in the music, film, and television industries. For a kid out of high school, I was making decent money and was enjoying working in the industry. During that time I took a photography course in the evenings through UCLA Extension. I had to go to the university during the day to get my books though. I remember walking across the campus seeing kids my age that didn't seem miserable to be there. It was on that walk that I decided to quit my job and go back to school. I got a job at Nordstrom (where I later met Julianne!!!) and enrolled in a junior college. In my second year there, my father died. My focus was cloudy for a while, but another 2 years later, I graduated. Junior college that is. Then I went on the the university. Another 4 years later, I had my bachelor's degree. What took most people 4 years took me 8. But I finished. And you know what? I liked it. So much that I went back for my teaching credential. And then my masters. So this ring, embedded with a cubic zirconium and all, signifies a very difficult path for me. One of which I'm proud.



Please visit Quilly's Pacific Paradise for more Alphabet Photos.


Click HERE for all my Alphabet Photos.

Batter Up

OhCaptain over at The Life and Thoughts of a Midwest Geek took the bait. He asked his readers which of a given list of topics we'd like him to address. Of the given topics, I of course picked #2 - "Posts about why certain baseball movies are good and others are bad". He gave his list. What follows is mine. I'll skip why some are bad. There are too many of those and too many reasons. I'll stick to what I like.

(I couldn't post a pictureless post! I shot this with my new lens a few days ago.)

1. Field of Dreams- This is in my top 3 movies of all time; of any genre. I wrote a whole post about this a while back. Click here to read more. In a nutshell, this scene is why I love the movie:

2. For Love of the Game- This has something for everyone. Romance for the ladies and Vin Scully for the guys. Bet you never heard "romance" and "Vin Scully" mentioned in the same sentence before!
3. 61*- Billy Crystal did a fantastic job directing this movie. It's the story of the 1961 baseball season in which Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle chase the single season homerun record.
4. The Rookie-As a husband, father, and baseball fan, the scene when Dennis Quaid calls home to tell first his wife, then his son that he made it to the big leagues melts my heart.
5. The Untouchables- Does DeNiro's use of a baseball bat qualify it as a baseball movie??? (Yes, this one is a joke.)

Then of course there are the baseball documentaries but I didn't think they would fit in the movie category. In this genre I highly recommend:

1. Baseball by Ken Burns
2. When It Was A Game
3. Dodger Blue: The Championship Years
4. MLB Memorable Moments - 30 of baseball's greatest moments. The best of the best (imho) is Kirk Gibson's bottom of the 9th home run to win the first game of the 1988 World Series for the Dodgers. It set the tone for the Dodgers to win the championship that year. I still get chills hearing Vin Scully announce it.