Monday, July 16, 2007

God Continues to Work on Me, Part 2

The bonding attempts between Lily me continue. We take a few steps forward and then one backwards. Again, as to be expected. I've mentioned before how God has used the music of MercyMe lately to work on my heart. What I didn't realize was how he was preparing me for what was to come. There is a reoccurring theme in the Coming Up to Breathe album that deals with self. Or rather the problem of focus on self. I've come to realize that I was looking forward to having a daughter that would love me more than I was looking forward to being a father. In case thatdoesn't make sense, I’ll steal an illustration I saw Bruce Wilkinson give years ago that has always stuck with me. I believe his was an example of marriage but it works in parenting as well. In defining the “agape” type of love (the unconditional type of love mentioned in scripture) he extended his arm with his hand held open. Within the open hand lies your heart. Whenever someone such as a spouse, child, or friend abuses or hurts you intentionally or otherwise, the tendency is to retract your arm and protect your heart. But the agape type of love refuses to do this. The arm stays extended. Agape love chooses to continue to love in spite of what comes our way. When I stormed out of my hotel the other day to take a walk after feeling rejection from Lily, I retracted my arm. I took back my heart. I focused on that one incident and took my eye off of my role as a father. Since then, we've had many amazing moments. We play together. We make noises together. We laugh together. We still have a long way to go, and I look forward to every moment of it. Soon my baby will want me to hold her…and I’ll have a whole new set of issues to deal with! Even though this is hard, I’m loving how God is working on me.

F.Y.I.- I’m adding lots of pictures from the trip and of Lily to my photo website. Please feel free to visit.


Also, we are only able to post to our blogs from here. We cannot view our actual blog pages. I can tell I have some comments but I am unable to view them while here in China. I look forward to getting home so I can view them. Heck, I just look forward to getting home period!

Update: My luggage arrived today. YIPPPPEEEEE!!!!

Julianne is doing a far better job with all the details of the trip so be sure to check her blog.

1 comment:

Mel said...

Keeping Lily and Julianne and yourself in my prayers. The Lord is your have nothing to fear or want.

I have enjoyed seeing the photos and reading about your journey of adopting Lily Grace...and God is Gracious...He will continue to lead you and grow you and bless you on this journey.

Praying for a safe journey for you and your family back home again.

God Bless!!